Monday, December 14, 2009

The Cheesy Gordita Crunch

The Best Taco Bell Item EVER.

The volcano taco is awesome, but the sinful CGC is the ultimate Bell menu item.  My obsession with the CGC is well documented among my friends.  Certain Taco Bell locations make great CGCs, but others fall short on the beloved Crunch and other feast items.   Knowing my devotion to the Cheesy Gordita Crunch, a friend sent the following text:
Friend:  "I just had the best ever cheesy gordita crunch.  Made with such stoner love the kid mixed up the taco meat sauce cheese and lettuce and then put in with extra cheese in between taco and its flat bread wrapper.  Was so fresh and warm crunchy chewy and perfectly melted.  Nom nom nom.  
Me:  "Oh lucky!  I love when they add extra sauce.  The one on Union and Kimbrough does that."  
Friend:  "Second one very standard and now disappointing.  Think I got one little stoner kid made for himself. "
Me:  "His high little ass got confused."
Friend:  "I almost want to go ask and meet the man that made such a delicious version of an almost perfect food."

In honor of the stoner kid's devotion to his craft and hazy-brained mistake that resulted in my friend's lucky experience, I have decided to list the best and worst Taco Bells in the Memphis area.  
1.)  Union at Kimbrough.  Best one in Shelby County, hands down.  
2.)  Estate between Park and Poplar
3.)  Collierville (I know, that town is awful but I used to teach classes at that YMCA.  I must do something to counteract the effect of eating Cheesy Gordita Crunches and Kooky Canuck wings with disturbing regularity.  The Taco Bell sucks much less than the town, a predictable phenomenon given the town's fascination with chain restaurants and aversion to independent ones)
1.)  The Poplar & Prescott one near University of Memphis  (This Bell is the most schizophrenic in terms of service.  The employees are absolutely delightful and this Bell features Diet Dr. Pepper, a rarity.  However, on several occasions I have received the incorrect order, and I absolutely despise any item with the nacho cheese and must return to switch it out)
1.)  E.H. Crump and Third  (no Diet Dr. Pepper, horrendous service and sullen employees)


  1. Poplar & Prescott gave me food poisioning 2 yrs ago this up omong February, caused me to miss 2 open bar events, I will never patronize that establishment with so much as a penny of my gold!!

  2. I once ordered the 3 supreme tacos combo at the Crump & 3rd one. I sat in the drive-thru line for 10 minutes... AND IT HAD NOT MOVED for 10 minutes. I drove away and flipped them off. I would tell everyone to stay away. Those workers seemed to have a chip on their shoulder.

  3. Crump & 3rd = nightmare. I once had to wait 14 minutes as the ONLY person in the drive through line, and they still didn't take my order. I had to drive away. I was en route to babysit, and the kids eat stuff like Tyson chicken nuggets in the microwave. I was severely displeased.