Monday, November 23, 2009

Restaurant Review! Hooters. Seriously.

This is not a true review, since I did not actually feast.  I had a beer feast, but since it was just pitchers of Bud Light, it was not even a noteworthy feast.  Just a few observations: 

I had to go to Hooters to watch the Eagles game once.  There are only 3 bars downtown with NFL Sunday ticket and it was "1950s Doo Wop Dance Night" at TJ Mulligans in the Pinch.  This happens on the third Sunday of each  month.  The DJ sets up a screen and apparently blasts music so loudly that watching a game is out of the question.  Sometime during the first quarter of the Eagles game we noticed a lot of old people coming into the bar, realized our mistake, and had to relocate.  Calhouns I love, but if you don't get there early you can not get a seat.  Prime Time touts itself as a sports bar but somehow does not have Sunday Ticket.  Retarded.  Alas, I was forced to go to Hooters.  Our service sucked.  Our server was about 20, and she wasn't terrible looking.  She was still in the stage where the meth had made her fairly thin, but her teeth had not rotted out yet.  It was not that she was gross, she just didn't do a good job.  She sat a a booth and talked to her boyfriend the entire time.  

The main reason for this post is to showcase this picture.  The following sign greeted me upon entering Hooters on Third & Peabody Place.  Nice grammar.  I understand that a degree in literature is not required to work at a chain restaurant, but kindergarten students should be able to match a subject to a verb in a way that is not done here. 

Restaurant Review! El Mezcal

I love El Mezcal.  While it is indeed a completely standard Mexican restaurant, it is consistent and tasty.  The pollo soup and tortilla soups are bowls of liquid deliciousness.  The service is always excellent at both the Union and Perkins locations.  The beer prices are low.  The only thing that I have ever had there that was not good was a shrimp quesadilla.  The shrimp were overcooked and I loathe overcooked food with every fiber of my hungry little being.  

The most awesome thing by far about El Mez might have to be the pronunciations on the menu. Burrito.  Bu-ree-toh.  

The Elusive Oh's

Why is Quaker Oh's cereal so difficult to find?  It is delicious and cheap.  Like $2 a box cheap.  The only place that sells it in the Memphis area is the West Memphis Wal-Mart.  I hate Wal-Mart.  This is not because I oppose the company's business practices or care whatsoever about the fact that it doesn't provide health insurance.  The job requires no special skills or training.  Shut up.  I hate Wal-Mart because one can't even buy decent running socks there.  Dri-fit apparently eludes the merchandise buyers the way that Quaker Oh's elude me.  The deli at Wal-Mart sucks.  The "seafood" selection involves Krab and frozen shrimp.  Herb selection?  Riiiiiiiight.  It is a terrible place but remains the only place that sells the delicious Quaker Oh's.  Sadness!

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Restaurant Review! Miss Polly's Soul City Cafe

My boyfriend and I decided to try something new after driving to the BBQ Shop on Madison on a Sunday only to realize that it was closed.  We ventured onto Beale Street, an admittedly rare adventure for two pathologically lazy people.  After weekly meals at the Kooky Canuck (ok, maybe bi or tri-weekly) we felt that we should patronize another downtown restaurant.  
We chose Fried Chicken, Mustard Greens, and Macaroni and Cheese.  The chicken was very good.  It did not have that spicy coating featured by Gus's, but it had great flavor and we were treated to some "house hot sauce" that is not usually sitting on the tables.  It was great.  The greens, however, were tasty but cold.  We were the only people in the restaurant, so that was kind of disappointing.  The mac & cheese was basically pasta and pasteurized processed cheese food product, which is not my favorite but I am sure others like.  The cornbread muffins were really tasty.  They had jalapenos lurking within - a pleasant surprise indeed!  
The service was good, but I am not sure I would go back for anything but the chicken.  I included how I would make this meal in a concurrent post on Feast Time.  

My Version

Macaroni and Cheese
8 ounces of elbow macaroni (about half of a standard box)
3 tablespoons butter
3 tablespoons all-purpose flour
3 cups milk
1/2 cup diced onion
1 tablespoon dry mustard
1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
1 teaspoon paprika
dash of hot sauce (I actually like more than a dash)
black pepper
6 ounces sharp cheddar, shredded
6 ounces Swiss, shredded
1 egg
about 1/2 cup of seasoned bread crumbs (I use Italian)


Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
Cook pasta according to directions.
While pasta cooks, grate the cheese.  Freshly grated cheese from the block tastes much better than the stuff in a bag.  Mix the swiss and cheddar together evenly, and divide into two portions, about 3/4 and 1/4.  
Make a white sauce.  To do this, first melt the butter in a saucepan.  Whisk in flour and mustard until smooth.  The sauce will thicken after being continuously whisked.  Add the milk, onion, garlic powder, paprika, and hot sauce.  Simmer for about ten minutes.  
Add the 3/4 portion of the cheese mix, and salt and pepper.  
Pour the macaroni into a 2-quart baking dish, and add the sauce.  Top with remaining 1/4 of the cheese mixture.  Sprinkle with bread crumbs and bake for 30-35 minutes.  


Heat and season with hot peppers-in-vinegar juice.  Canned greens are actually yummy!!

Fried Chicken - Get Gus's takeout. 
Call Gus's World Famous Fried Chicken
(901) 527-4877
310 S. Front St.
Memphis, TN 38103
P.S. -  I can't believe the town of Southaven didn't patronize the Gus's that opened down there.  With all of the nasty O'Charleys/Applebees/(insert name of abysmally revolting restaurant here) that populate that town, I would expect the Gus's to not have gone under.  Embarrassing.  You should feel shame.  Consider self-flagellation.